“This is not a true story. The events depicted in this blog did not take place in Midlothian in 2025. At the request of the survivors, the names have been changed. Out of respect for the dead, the rest has been told exactly as it occurred.”
Once upon a time there was a kind and welcoming turfer, a turfer who made his living fixing bicycles for all who visited his establishment. Let us call him Mr Gentle. Of course, he was also keen cyclist himself and loved exploring the land in search of interesting cycle routes and also to take a few turf zones along the way. He was also a very helpful person and would give up his own time and effort to help maintain the local trails he cycled along, stopping to trim overhanging branches, clear fallen trees and make the trail better for everyone.
Then, one day, another turfer, let us call him Mr Angry, who was not so kind and gentle, came along who took offence at the efforts of this kind turfer and words were exchanged, threats were made and worse. Advice was sought, the authorities were contacted and that was that. Yet this turfer seemed to keep a bee in his bonnet and started acting like a teenage twat, placing fallen trees and branches across trails to disrupt any cyclist who came along. He even kept changing his turf name in a fruitless attempt to annoy other turfers.
Now, that was by way of a backstory to today’s turf blog. I noticed Mr Angry (not his current turf name) was out and about in my local patch and long having been wondering who he was, I set about tracking him down for a wee look. And perhaps a chat. At that point I was undecided whether I would actually stop and talk to him or not. So off I set, turfing dark so as not to reveal my presence. Turfing dark is having the turf app on but the GPS off, thus concealing my location while at the same time allowing me to track this individual.
Of course, Mr Angry, did not make things easy, repeatedly switching his GPS off between zones to hide his turf man icon on the turf app. However, watching for a while, looking at which zones he had taken and which he had not, soon revealed his general direction of travel. An intercept route was planned. His speed of travel suggested he was on foot and as I was on my velocipede, I soon came across him near the town centre and cycled past. No need to describe him. As I was cycling past, I had a decision to make. Do I stop and say hello, or keep on riding?
I kept on riding, thinking he would probably know who I am anyway, from the Planet Gary blog. He gave me a good look as I passed. You know it’s funny, I’ve never seen him before but even from that brief encounter, even without prior knowledge of his actions, I just didn’t want to converse with him, even if he is another fellow turfer. Normally, I would stop and chat with any turfer but not this one. Should I have stopped? No doubt I will come across him again. Bonnyrigg is a very small town with only handful of local turfers. Back soon.
Copyright ©2025 Gary Buckham. All rights reserved.
