I had an amazing fruit scone yesterday and you’ll never guess where it came from. No, not some swanky-posh-tie-no-dogsallowed-overpriced-minute portion eatery, and it was not even made by Mary Berry or Paul Hollywood, no, came from the Penicuik Storehouse, a community owned, volunteer run shop, café and community space. ChoccyMuffin and Rafa the dog was turfing there and bought me one. It was really, really good with a hint of citrus peel and cinnamon. Interestingly, there was once another scone of the same calibre and that also came from a similar establishment, the Undercroft Cafe at Edinburgh New Town Church. Oh, and the scones at Cafe Portrait in the Scottish National Portrait Gallery off Queens Street, Edinburgh are worth a mention. Okay, this has nothing to do with turfing but any turf session without a scone is a poor turf session indeed. And one fruit scones equals at least 100 zones worth of energy.
Anyway, back to the matter in hand and that is, of course, turfing. And I must start this paragraph with a confession. Okay, here goes. I was car turfing today (but it did include some cycling and walking as well). There, I’ve admitted it online for everyone to read. It’s not something I do very often, much preferring to cycle whenever possible but occasionally the infernal combustion engine makes light work of transporting said turfer to the Land of Zones or more accurately, the Land of TvT Zones.
With no less than 8 TvT zones spread across the City of Edinburgh, car turfing was the most efficient way to reach them and, in any case, the 11-year old Ford Fiesta gets traded in tomorrow morning for my 3-month old Ford Focus estate, so I might as well us up some of the petrol in the tank. First stop was the Park and Ride at Edinburgh Airport, there to tick off a pair of turfer uniques called fairways and MacFaithful, from zones Spitfire and EdinburghAir respectively.
Edinburgh Airport is not the most pleasant of locations to ride a bike. No provision for cyclists at all and not a single sign there was for visiting turfers. However, spotted the bicycle shelter beside the zone and made the decision that I was indeed an authorised vehicle so ignored all other direction signs. Zone taken without issue and the half-dozen armed-police wandering about ignored me. Mind you, I did wonder if it was wise to take a photo of the terminal building from the zone. Thankfully, I’m still free and there’s not been a knock at the door so far. Good job Brompton G Line bikes don’t have number plates!
Back to the car and next stop Crammond bridge, for my second pair of TvT zones for the morning. Zone Craufurdland gave me turfer unique, hoverfly, and zone CramondBrig gave me turfer unique LimeApri. Parked along Whitehouse Road and used the Brompton to take the zones. My next four TvT zones were unashamed car turfing. Out to the Gyle Shopping Centre for zone GyleCenter and turfer unique SandyRoller, then to Currie for zone SawkinsCorner and turfer unique Birdie3. TvT Brac was bagged in the Hutchison area of Edinburgh and TvT empirebuilder was bagged out by Niddrie. Job done.
And finally, I came across an old black and white photograph of some young lads hurtling downhill on a home-made bogey, that’s a wooden cart made from old wobbly pram wheels, scrap wood and a bit of stolen washing line for steering. This got me thinking now that I’m older and slightly wiser? and have spare cash and know-how, how amazing would it be to build the modern equivalent of that rough and ready and decidedly dodgy bogey today. What a challenge that would be for turfing!
Custom titanium chassis, carbon-fibre wheels, hydraulic disc brakes, proper steering, a leather Recaro bucket seat, Willins 6-point safety harness and a roll cage. That would be amazing and probably totally daft. And what of those other childhood dreams? Remember the old Milbro catapult which might allow you to hit a tin can at 10 paces if you try long enough? What could we do today? Auto-loading, laser sights, built-in stabilisation and who knows what other tech we might add, like self-propelled and self-guided ammunition. Hmm, better stick to turfing. Bye for now.
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