Turf Zone – LoudSnoring
There’s some interesting statistics I’ve mentioned a few times over the 1700 plus days since I first started turfing, taking my very first zone Pittendreich at 12:41:19 on the 21st December 2020. The statistics concern the numbers of turfers who started the game of turf but no longer play the game. Today, at the foot of the Turf website there’s a figure stated. It reads around 449,300 and represents the total number of turfers that have signed up since the game begun. However, when you compare that to the actual number of active turfers, those who are actively taking points this Round, there is a massive difference.
If you take a look at the Rounds tab on Warded, you will see figure in the region of 6500 players who have taken at least one zone during this Round, though I’m not sure this is entirely accurate, though accurate enough for comparison. Calculating a percentage reveals that only 1.45 % of those who start turfing are still active today. In other words, or rather figures, the game of turf loses 98.55% of those who sign up the game. It would be interesting to see a chart showing how long players remain turfing but Warded does not have that information available.
So, what’s the point of all this? Well, I again find myself falling towards that 98.55% who have departed the game. Simply put, and to use the words of Catherine Tate’s character, Lauren Cooper, a 15-year-old schoolgirl with a surly attitude, “Bovvered!” Yes, I find I just cannot be bothered to go turfing. It’s a real challenge to push myself to go out turfing, at least beyond the local patch when the zones are easily available for a take. Why not? Wish I knew!
Anyway, spurred on in abject terror after reading a scary post by the Turf Ultimate Region Fight 2025 team captain, I thought I’d better get my finger out, wipe the dust from the Ribble CGR SL and go and take some zones. And being somewhat bored with the local patch, decided to head further afield and into the wild untamed lands of East Lothian. Don’t worry, I have skills in unarmed combat and can throw a battle scone with deadly accuracy. There was also the temptation of a turfer unique by the name MellowBee and some unique zones to help me get over that can’t be bovvered feeling.
I decided to follow the Pencaitland Railway Path as far as Ormiston station, then head for Tranent, across to the coast at Longniddry, then follow the shore back towards Musselburgh and then continue back home to Bonnyrigg. And to be honest fair enjoyed myself, delighting in how well the Ribble CGR SL, a road-come-gravel bike simply eats the miles with ease and comfort, despite the drop handlebars.
By the end of the session, I’d taken a rather pleasing 105 zones, and was almost tempted to head back out again during the night for another 95 and gain that cherished El Staminatore medal but closer inspection revealed that 13 of the takes were revisits which don’t count towards the medal. So, another 108 takes before 10.00 am next morning was a session too far and the El Staminatore will have to wait for another day. And rain was forecast as well.
I managed to get two of the three unique zones I was after, MillParkrun at Meadowmill Sports Centre and zone WheresAlly in Longniddry. However, clean forgot to take WheresWally, located in the Pinkie area of Musselburgh. At that point the legs were beginning to tire and with the route now all uphill and into a headwind, I really just wanted to head for home. Think I may have been suffering from LOFS*. I also think I’d eaten too much during my lunch stop in Port Seton. As well as my own picnic lunch, I scoffed some coffee and cake from The Harbour Takeaway, which I really didn’t need.
The two zones at the site of the former Cockenzie power station were fenced off due to building works. An onshore substation, electricity cables and associated infrastructure are being built by Inch Cape Offshore Ltd to handle electricity from offshore wind turbines. They should be takeable again by the end of the year. This would also explain the large cable laying vessel moored offshore in the Firth of Forth. Also noticed that the parking area at the west end of the Pencaitland Railway Path is now closed off to vehicles. So, if you are planning on parking there for some bike turfing, you’ll need to go elsewhere.
During today’s ride I had the thought to convert the drop bars on the bike to flat bars, as I find the flat bars on my Sonder and Trek bikes for more comfortable. However, once you start looking at tasks like this in detail, what at first might seem a simple exercise turns out to be incredibly complex, time consuming and rather expensive one. I would need new handlebars, grips, gear shifter, brakes levers (possibly brakes as well, rear derailleur, cassette, chain, chain set and a rear hub. All this because of a lack of compatibility between Shimano component groups. Add to those issues actually finding suppliers with stock and long waiting times for parts. Guess I’ll give that idea a miss! For now, at least. Tempting excuse to get a set of carbon wheels, mind you.
And finally, I was out turfing Dalkeith the other day on the Sonder Broken Road and just after taking zone HolyBuccleuch, the left-hand crank arm and pedal clattered to the ground. Seems at some point the crank end bolt had vanished allowing the crank arm to work loose. Not sure where or when this occurred or if it was an error on my part but easy enough to fix with a replacement part. Thankfully, I didn’t clatter to the ground as well. Oh, the joys of turfing by bicycle!
*LOFS – Lack Of Fruit Scones.
Copyright ©2025 Gary Buckham. All rights reserved.
