I cannot remember when I stopped believing in Santa, or the Easter Bunny, or Goblins, UFO’s and the Tooth Fairy, but I never let that stop me sending my annual letter to Santa, and also to Saint Nicholas and the Krampus, just to cover all the options and this year was no different. Here’s a copy of the letter I posted back on the 9th December, as advised by the Post Office as the last posting date to reach the North Pole in time for Christmas.
Dear Santa/Saint Nicholas/Krampus*,
They would not let me in to see you at the Grotto because they said I was too old and told me to b*gg*r off, so I’m sending you this letter instead.
I have been a very good boy again this year and have done my very best not to deliberately block any other turfer playing turf except the ones that keep switching their GPS off between zones, because they get all they deserve. I have never switched off my GPS except by mistake when I fell off my bicycle and the phone landing in the river.
This is a list of everything I want for Christmas.
- more zones in Midlothian and everywhere in the Universe as well.
- a new turf medal for collecting zones with the holy attribute.
- a new fat bike so I can ride the zones on the beaches in East Lothian.
- a new turf medal for collecting zones with the train station attribute.
- a bucket full of Kit-Kats and fruit scones every day for turfing energy.
- favourable weather every day for optimal turfing conditions.
- a Brompton T Line One titanium folding bike because it’s neat.
- an phone app for planning efficient turf routes between zones.
- a Volkswagen ID. Buzz electric van for carrying my bicycles.
- some dedicated cycle paths between Midlothian and Edinburgh.
- new medals for collecting FTT and TvT zones. And League positions.
- a 200 dB bike horn for people listening to music with headphones.
- change the Daily-5 medal to continue onwards for additional years.
- can you loan me an elf so I can send him turfing when I’m sleeping.
I hope I’m not being too greedy but not all of these are not all for me, they will also benefit many other turfers as well. I will even share the Kit-Kats and fruit scones with other turfers and give them a lift in the Volkswagen ID. Buzz electric van if they want.
Thank you, Gary, age 63 and 44 days.
*delete as required.
Copyright ©2024 Gary Buckham. All rights reserved.
