SCOnanza, the Scottish Open Turf Championships in Glasgow. It’s here. It’s now, or if reading this later, it was before. And I signed up for it. Unfortunately, at one point I wish I hadn’t signed up for it. Yes, I paid my £10.00 and no worries about that. It’s just that I have a bad case of cannot-be-bothered-ness, which is nothing unusual for me. Always seems like a good idea at the time but when the time comes, well, you know, would rather not be going, participating, driving through to Glasgow. And the weather forecast does not look promising either. Oh well, it will be fine when I get there. Probably. Hopefully.
Well, that was then and this is the now. And I’ve been, survived, actually quite enjoyed myself and returned home unsullied and untarnished as they say in my childhood home town of Selkirk. So, where to begin this epic tale? At the beginning, I suppose. Guess that’s the best place to start, the beginning.
The beginning was finding somewhere to park after the 50-mile drive through from Bonnyrigg which takes pretty bang-on an hour. That is assuming the satnav is working correctly, the brain is understanding the satnav correctly and the planets are in the correct alignment, or not, whatever. In any case, we arrived safely, that’s myself and ChoccyMuffin. Which should not be any surprise really. A720 Edinburgh city bypass, M8 motorway and A814 Clydeside Expressway and you have arrived at your destination.
And our destination was the Riverside Museum down by the River Clyde. The reasons we picked this location was that there was easy to access parking (cost £10 for the duration), essential toilets, a nice cafe and it was only a few minutes’ walk from the event area and bases. In fact, it was actually within the area of the cycle event. There’s also a footbridge across the River Clyde to Govan and fairly easy access to most other parts of Glasgow. Brilliant for turfing adventures another day.
As we arrived in plenty of time, circa 9:30am, ChoccyMuffin dashed out for a few zones while we waited for the museum to open. And in the forecourt, lots and lots of jaguars. No, not the seriously big pussy cats but a few million squid’s worth of classic and modern Jaguars by members of the Scottish Jaguar Enthusiasts Club. To be honest, I’m not into Jaguar cars, but there was some nice metal on display. No, stop thinking about it and stick with your Ford Focus! 10.00am and the museum cafe was open. Scones still warm, butter, jam and an Americano to fuel the day.
I was in for the bike event and had brought Mr Bumble along. If you don’t know, Mr Bumble is a yellow single speed folding Brompton bicycle, perhaps not the ideal steed for a competitive event but I enjoy riding the Brompton and that’s all that matters. Not that there’s any chance of winning in these events as they are open to all ages, genders, fitness levels and anything else that comes to mind. In fact, you could say it’s not a level playing field. For example, there’s myself, almost 65-years old verses young, fit, slim 20-somethings or other. What chance do I have? Of course, it’s the taking part that matters. Aye, right!
Now, strategy. Well, there wasn’t one. More a case of pick somewhere within the event area before the start time, head for the nearest zone when the event begins and hope for the best. The event ran for 90-minutes with 15 participants and I finished in 8th place with 805 points. The winner was Cruachan with 1175 points. Now, that’s a bit annoying myself having mentioned above “it’s not a level playing field” as Cruachan is about the same age as myself. I’m not in any way jealous that he is probably fitter than myself, has a better strategy and the devil knows what else. Guess I’ll just have to try harder next time!
With the cycling event finished, I set off across the Clyde to grab a few zones in Govan, also aiming to bag a turfer unique going by the turfname KPD. There was also one earlier I had my eye on called Shawlander but it was taken by another turfer while I was eating the scone. Should have dashed across earlier and bagged it then. Lesson learned. Found a nice sheltered bench for lunch at the Glasgow Science Centre, then it was back across the river to catch up with ChoccyMuffin, who was about to start the foot event. Not having signed up for the foot event, I was surprised to see that I was able to take a couple of foot event zones. Anyway, that added another Eventor medal to the collection.
The foot event was more popular than the bike event with 42 intrepid walkers/runners braving the streets of Glasgow. The winner with 1165 points was DrWes and ChoccyMuffin came in 25th with 446 points. My token efforts placed me at 41 with 28 points. Not last but not far away. During the foot event I spent the time looking for graffitti and snapping a few photographs.
And finally, I must mention to finely crafted artworks that accompied SCOnanza, the Scottish Open Turf Championships 2026. Brilliant!
Bye for now.
Copyright ©2026 Gary Buckham. All rights reserved.
