Turf Blog 21-06-25

TurfZone – WickedMarket

When you tell people you are going to spend a few days away turfing in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, you might get some funny looks. This is probably because Newcastle-upon-Tyne might be considered an unusual location to spend any time. It might also be due to the mention of the word turfing. Then, when you add that you will be staying in North Shields, well, that does not help any. If you add it’s near Whitley Bay, faces light up and fond recollections are forthcoming, though I suspect they might mean Whitby rather than Whitley Bay.

To break the journey on the way down to Newcastle we, that’s myself and Cathryn, aka ChoccyMuffin, stopped off in Alnwick and grabbed a few zones, managing most of them other than ThanksDuke which was sealed off with police crime tape and guarded by a very bored looking officer. We also dipped out on the two zones in the grounds of Alnwick castle as we decided that, having been there before, not to pay the parking fee at the car park. In any case, coffee and lemon drizzle cake was calling our names, as seen above. You may notice our new turfing companion, Feathers McGraw, the infamous villain in Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers and Vengeance Most Fowl. Expect to see him appearing in future blogs. He was 3D printed by my nephew Graeme.

TurfZone – MarysLight

On our first day we pedalled our trusty Brompton’s towards the city centre, aiming for an area called Wallsend, and more specifically the two zones at Segedunum roman fort. We managed to get the one at the fort but the other one was inside the fenced off area at the reconstructed example of Hadrian’s Wall. There was some temptation to facilitate unconventional access but decided that getting arrested on our first day wasn’t a good idea. One thing to point out is the plethora of cycle and walking routes along this section of the River Tyne which we actually found rather confusing. The names on the online maps tended not to match those actually on the ground.

To grab a few more zones on our return, we moved inland a little, towards Wallsend town centre. Here we encountered some of the rather colourful local inhabitants. You can probably picture the like. Gaunt facial features, well-dressed in the latest knock-off fashions and with a very noticeable lack of any social grace at all. For example, having a conversation across a busy street by shouting as loud as they could. No idea what the conversation was about due to the thick local Geordie dialect and accent and every third word being of the four-letter variety and starting with the letter F. Our evening meal was at the Brewer’s Fayre, a partner restaurant to the Premier Inn where we were staying. It was nothing special and we decided to look elsewhere for our future evening meals.

TurfZone – HarbourBeach

Day two saw us heading for Whitey Bay, following the coastal cycle paths/ways from our base at the Premier Inn North Shields, located near the ferry terminal. The area there wasn’t the most scenic but it was handy for our needs. We cycled as far as zone MarysLight, at St Marys Lighthouse, then ventured inland and followed the zones back to base. The cycle along the coast was delightful, and sitting outside for coffee and scones at the Beaches and Cream cafe made the day, although a swarm of ladybirds kept getting everywhere. There was also a couple of clever starlings begging for scraps, or should I say singing for scraps. They seem to have learned that if they perch on the next seat and twitter away, we humans take pity and feed them cake. To finish off the day we had an excellent meal at the Low Lights Tavern, which I would heartily recommend.

One observation that comes to mind was the sheer number of people we encountered who were considerably overweight. It was like the scene from the animated film WALL-E where all the passengers on the space ship were so overweight they could no longer walk and used futuristic float-beds to move around. I do wonder what the future holds and will our NHS be able to cope. Having said that, I can understand how the over-abundance of food might be partly to blame.

When we were eating-out in the evenings our platefuls were far more than we really needed. And our unlimited breakfast at the Premier Inn was likewise. One chap I watched had the English cooked breakfast – four sausages, five rashers of bacon, three hash browns, two fried eggs, black pudding, tomatoes, baked beans and toast, the plate heaped high. Then the same chap, whom I then called Mr Creosote after the Monty Python character, went back for seconds. Unbelievable. Thank goodness there wasn’t any wafer thin mints!

Turf Zone – AngelOfNorth

Day three and we ventured south across the Tyne into South Shields, hopping aboard the ferry for the sum of £3.90 each for a day ticket, and no extra charges for our Brompton’s. Cathryn saw another cyclist surreptitiously taking a phot of our Brompton’s. Our first zone was immediately at the landing, zone ShieldsFerry. We followed our now standard turfing plan, follow the coast for zones, then return back inland for more. Came across an unusual series of sculptures near zone HarbourBeach, a zone where Cathryn bravely waded into the North Sea, getting wet trousers in the process. The sculptures are called Conversation Piece and comprise 22 bronze stylized figures by Juan Muñoz. Locally they are known as the Weebles after the toys of the 70’s and 80’s. That’s them behind Feathers in the photo above.

Coming back further inland we found a nice cafe by the boating lake in south marine park. The cafe was called Toney Minchella and yes, another scone was consumed. There are toilets in the cafe and public toilets adjacent as well. We did well on the zones, bagging all but a couple. Back at the ferry we were waiting to board when a large rat ran across the jetty, between the legs of the waiting passengers and vanished through a hole in the base of a litter bin. No-one seems the least bothered. And again, to finish the day, another meal, this time at The Ship’s Cat.

Turf Zone – AngelOfNorth

On our final day there was one place I wanted to visit before heading back to Scotland, Antony Gormley’s contemporary sculpture, the Angel of the North. Using the marvels of in-car navigation, we entered the destination and set off, soon finding ourselves heading through the Tyne Tunnel. Then we see signs for a toll. What, we need to pay a toll? Of course, as we were wondering how to do that we were already committed into the tunnel. However, managed to catch a glimpse of the signage and saw we could pay online any time before midnight next day. Phew! Quite a sight the Angel of the North, quite impressive and very moving. And also, a remarkable feat of engineering as well. Feathers was his usual silent self.

For a break on the return journey, we stopped off in Berwick-upon-Tweed, though it seems also to be referred to as simply Berwick. We grabbed a few zones then began our search for a suitable cafe, soon becoming quite anxious at how many were actually closed. However, the turf god’s must have been looking over us and we soon found Northern Edge Coffee, enjoying a very tasty sausage and bacon roll. But the piece-de-resistance was the sign in the toilet. It just made the day. Must keep an eye out for anything similar signage related to turf, like the above reference to zone. Back soon.

Back home in Bonnyrigg, I was out taking back the Bonnyrigg zones lost while we were away and noticed what I initially thought was a new turfer in the area. Not sure about the turf name though, which is teenage-twat. Doesn’t seem to be a newbie as they have Rank 29, so have been turfing for a while. It also doesn’t list in my turfer uniques on Warded, so must be a change of turf name. I wonder who it is?

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