Turf Blog 04-01-25

Turf Zone – Prestongrange

The Laws of Turf can often be frustrating, and Sod’s Law of Turf in particular can be very frustrating. Let me give you an example. I’ve been trying to find opportunity to take a turfer unique in Edinburgh. The turfer in question is called dustmallow. And over the past week or so I’ve been trying to find time to get one of his/her zones. However, the Christmas period is always a pain in the butt as far as being able to go turfing, with family gatherings and birthday parties all demanding an appearance (I’d much rather be turfing!). And even when you get the opportunity to head into Edinburgh, the zones vanish the night before.

So, imagine my excitement when Cathryn, aka ChoccyMuffin, or sometimes Choccy, notices a turfer called dustmallow taking zones locally in Dalkeith country park, only a few miles from the house in Bonnyrigg. I’ll get one of those after tea, I say. The time comes, and I’m battling the weather Gods on the Sonder Broken Road, head down against hurricane force winds that send blue wheelie bins and bemused small dogs hurtling through the air, horizontal driving rain stinging my face and reaching the parts other rain does not reach. Oh, and throw in a couple of small F2 tornadoes for good measure. You get the picture?

Anyway, I reach the park and take the zone, ParkOfSteel, and another turfer unique is in the bag. Time to make my way home. Of course, Sod’s Law of Turf kicks in again, this time the Reverse Sod’s Law of Turf and instead of winds at my back, the weather Gods have some fun and the weather system swings around 180 degrees and I’m faced with the same tempest all the way back home. Again, the same now empty wheelie bins and very angry little dogs hurtle through the air. The F1 tornadoes have now finished their apprenticeship and have graduated into F2 tornadoes.

Now, I’m almost home, wind-blown and somewhat soggy, when I notice another turfer in Bonnyrigg at a newly created zone called ArgentumDrive, not far from the house. Wiping the rain and snow from my spectacles and pulling a soaking glove from frozen fingers, I peer closer to see who it is, initially think it might be ChoccyMuffin. Of course, you’ve already guessed who it is, turfer dustmallow. Bugger! All that effort and I could have strolled from the house. Sod’s Law of Turf at its best.

One more day to go before yet another Round reset and as far as the League goes, I’m thankful of early efforts to keep a decent gap, around 50,000 as I write, between myself and those nasty white arrows in the relegation zone. I had in mind a couple of points to be aware of. The first was to keep a high enough points gap that discourages other turfers from getting out there for long days, collecting huge numbers of points and dropping you into the relegation zone.

The other reason for keeping a mighty points gap is potential inclement weather in the future, especially at this time of the year. These past few days here in bonny Scotland have been on the nippy side with hard frost, icy roads, treacherous pavements and deep snow in many parts of the country. This can make turfing on a bicycle, let us say, rather challenging. Okay, you could simply walk but walking is slow and it takes a lot more effort to accrue the same amount of points as you would on a bike. So, plan ahead to help avoid potential bad weather from dropping you in the relegation zone.

Then there’s the matter of available time and opportunity over the Christmas and New Year period. Some turfers might find turfing time is few and far between due to holidays away, visiting friends or unwanted fiends or other family pressures. Less time available means less opportunity to keep that points gap high and unassailable. So, a good tip is to keep that gap as unassailable as you can manage and do that early on and when you are able. Back soon.

Copyright ©2025 Gary Buckham. All rights reserved.

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