Welcome to the PG Turf Advent Calendar 2024, devilishly devised and craftily created by the mischievous editor of Planet Gary for turfers anywhere in the Multiverse to try their hand at, pull their hair out and most likely scream with frustration.
Please read the notes thoroughly before competing but don’t take things too seriously, just enjoy attempting the various tasks and don’t worry too much about correct interpretations. It’s all flexible, meant to be enjoyable and most importantly of all, fun. Good luck.
Planet Gary Turf Advent Calendar 2024
Task No 24 – Tuesday 24th December – Christmas Turfing
As Christmas Eve is usually totally mental for folk, here’s the final task a few hours early. Hope you all enjoyed yourself and managed to complete all the tasks. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Remember there’s a prize draw.
Take five zones where you can find any five of the following criteria. One zone for each.
- A Christmas tree with decorations and fairy lights.
- A place where you can hear Christmas music or songs playing.
- An artistic representation of a Christmas tree.
- A Christmas present wrapped up in fancy paper.
- Any bird associated with Christmas, alive or otherwise.
- A holly tree, or sprig of holly, with red berries.
- A naturally growing conifer commonly used as a Christmas tree.
- A representation of Santa Claus, St Nicholas or the Krampus.
- A person wearing an item of Christmas themed clothing.
- A shop selling mince pies, carrots for reindeer and a glass of sherry.
Option: as above but take a further five zones using the remaining criteria.
Task No 23 – Monday 23th December – Simply Turf
Take any 5 zones that meet any five of the following criteria. One zone for each.
- Take a zone that the closest to where you normally live.
- Take a zone that is as near to one mile from home as you can.
- Take a zone that is located beside open water but not the sea.
- Take a zone that is surrounded on all sides by mature trees.
- Take a zone surrounded on all sides by buildings.
- Take a zone located near a holy or sacred place.
- Take a zone where you can see running water.
- Take a zone associated with your present or previous occupation.
- Take a zone where you can press a button to make something work.
- Take a zone associated with the healing professions.
Option: as above but take a further 5 zones using the remaining criteria.
Task No 22 – Sunday 22th December – Upwardly Turfy
Nice easy one. This task requires you to select and take a suitable starting zone, then take another 4 zones each of which is higher in physical elevation than the previous zone. How you work that out is up to you.
Option: as above but take 10 zones.
Task No 21 – Saturday 21th December – Turfopoly 1961
The year is 1961, before decimalisation. You have been caught ghosting, deliberately switching your GPS off while turfing to annoy other turfers, and desperately need 100 Guineas to pay the fine imposed by the Turf Lords. As a Turfopoly landlord you can collect rent by taking zones that contain the following words (or other language equivalent) in their name:
Zone – £5 10s, Garden – £10 5s, Park – £10 5s, Street £10 10s, Walk – £15 10s, Lane – £15 10s, Bridge – £3 7s, Square – £5, Farm – £10 15s, Hill – £17 12s and Golf – £20 5s
Abbreviations such as St for Street, Pk for Park, etc can also be used but must be an abbreviation for the actual word. One-pound equals 20 shillings. One Guinea equals 1 pound and one shilling.
Option: as above but collect 200 Guineas. You can keep the difference.
Task No 20 – Friday 20th December – White Van Turf
Take any 5 zones that meet any five of the following criteria. One zone for each.
- Where you can see any moving white van.
- A white van displaying a trade name on the vehicle.
- A white van turning left or right.
- Where you can only see two white vans.
- A white van with more than one occupant.
- The driver entering or exiting a white van.
- A zone where there are no white vans visible.
- A white van waiting at traffic lights.
- Where you can see more than three white vans.
- A white van loading or unloading.
Option: as above but take a further 5 zones using the remaining criteria.
Task No 19 – Thursday 19th December – Turfomizer
For this task you simply need to take 5 zones. However, where those zones are located is down to the laws of chance. You will require something that can spin freely around and will stop pointing in a random direction. For example, a random direction generator app or whatever ingenious DIY method you can devise. You then take the first zone encountered in the indicated direction. Repeat for the next 4 zones. Should you find yourself directed to the same zone again, or no zone for more than 1 mile (1.609 km), spin again. The degree of direction accuracy is up to you.
Option: as above but take 10 zones.
Task No 18 – Wednesday 18th December – Turf Matrix
You are trapped in the Turf Matrix, a simulated reality, a world ruled by the Law of Digital and by sentient Machines. To escape the Turf Matrix, you must find the Key, a special sequence of numbers that will begin your escape back into the Real. The Key is the binary number 1111101000.
The numbers that make up the Key are located in the zone names around you, find those numbers, find those I’s and O’s and build The Key. For example, zone Bonnyrigg contains 0 and 1. Zone BikeSlooowly has three 0’s and one I.
However, you must watch out for Agents, they may be all around you. If the zone name contains the letter A, an Agent is present and you must avoid the zone. For example, zone SignsOfHumans has an Agent waiting for you and zone FatBikePath has two Agents waiting for you.
Once you find the Key, you now have the option of escaping the Turf Matrix but this requires further effort. You must also make a choice and require both the Red and Blue pills. These are written, concealed or scrambled within the zone names about you. Find those zones, find the Red pill, find the Blue pill.
But which pill will you choose? You take the Red pill – the story ends, you wake in the Real. You take the Blue pill – you stay in the Turf Matrix, forever. Remember, Agents may be in the zone.
Good luck.
Turfabetical
Starting with any zone beginning with a vowel, take 5 zones in alphabetical order based on the first character of the zone name. Aim to complete this task within 30 minutes.
For example, AnotherBiccy, BakeMyCake, ChoccyZone, DropScones, ExtremeBuns.
Option: continue on from the above and take another 5 zones. Aim to complete within 60 minutes.
Note: time limits are for added fun/frustration and are optional.
Task No 16 – Monday 16th December – Arty Turfy
Take 5 zones and identify an artistic representation of any flora or fauna, from the past or the present, at each zone. A representation being a computer graphic, drawing, painting, sculpture or other art work. Photographs are excluded. For example, at zone SignsOfHumans there’s a duck in the metalwork of the railings and at zone StAndrewSq, there’s a stone sculpture of a giant pussy cat. And yes, that’s two for free.
Option: as above but take another five zones.
Task No 15 – Sunday 15th December – Five Card Turf
Before you begin, you will need a pack of traditional playing cards or a playing card app on your phone. You will need a standard 52-card deck including 2 or more Jokers, preferably more.
The task requires you to take 5 different zones. If you cannot complete a task draw another card. The same zone cannot be used more than once. Beware of the Jacks and Jokers!
To begin, shuffle the pack and draw one card.
Match the drawn card to the task listed below.
Take a suitable zone to complete the task.
Replace card back in the pack and shuffle.
Draw another card from the pack and repeat.
- King – take a zone beginning with the letter K.
- Queen – take a zone with the letter Q in the zone name.
- Jack – take a zone with the letter J in the zone name.
- Ace – take a zone beginning with the letter A.
- 2 – take a zone with a pair of characters in the zone name, e.g. TT.
- 3 – take a zone that has three vowels in the zone name.
- 4 – take a zone with only 4 characters in the zone name.
- 5 – take a zone with the number 5 in the points value.
- 6 -– take a zone with 6 characters in the zone name.
- 7 -– take a zone with 7 characters in the zone name.
- 8 -– take a zone with 8 characters in the zone name.
- 9 – take a zone with 9 characters in the zone name.
- 10 – take a zone with 10 characters in the zone name.
- Joker – post a funny joke on Turf Scotland WhatsApp.
Option: as above but draw 10 cards and take 10 different zones.
Task No 14 – Saturday 14th December – Turfomino
You are required to take 5 zones in total. The last letter of the first zone should match the first letter of the next zone taken, and so on. Should be completed in a single session. Zone names starting or ending with a vowel should not be used. For example: Strawberries – Skeltimuir – RobinAndTuck, etc.
Option: as above but take another 5 zones.
Task No 13 – Friday 13th December – Roman Turf
Roman legionnaire Turfus Addictus Maximus, while on duty on the Antonine Wall, which was built of turf on a stone foundation, found himself in serious trouble with the centurion after being caught turfing while out on patrol and is now required to pay the princely fine of 10,000 Denarius.
Please help Turfus Addictus Maximus pay the fine by taking any number of zones with Roman numerals in the zone name and collecting 10,000 Denarius.
For example, zone WasNaeMe would give you M=1000 Denarius. Roman letter values: I = 1, V = 5, X = 10, L = 50, C = 100, D = 500, M = 1000
Option: as above but collect another 10,000 Denarius to donate to the charity Turfers Anonymous.
Task No 12 – Thursday 12th December – Turfomathics
You are required to take any as few zones as possible while trying to collect as close to 500 points as you can using the combined total of the points value of the zone, the total number of characters in the zone name and the PPH value.
For example, zone Scotland2023 has 12 letters, 110 points and 6 pph = 128 points.
Option: as above but collect as close to 1000 points as you can.
Task No 11 – Wednesday 11th December – Attribute Turf
This task should be simple enough in that you only have to take 5 zones, however, they should each have an attribute, e.g., Bridge, Holy, etc. The task should be completed during a single turf session. No magic spreadsheets required.
Use the UrbanGeeks map tag filter to show which zones have attributes. Selecting MATCH ANY helps show multiple attribute types.
Option: as above but take 10 zones with attributes.
Task No 10 – Tuesday 10th December – Turfabble
You are required to take no more than 5 zones and collect at least 100 Turfabble points where each letter in the zone name has the same points value as the letters found in the board game Scrabble. Numbers in zone names should be ignored.
For example, zone ArgylePlaza would give you 1+1+2+4+1+1+3+1+1+10+1 = 26 points.
Points/letter values:
- 1 point – A, E, I, O, U, L, N, S, T, R.
- 2 points – D, G.
- 3 points – B, C, M, P.
- 4 points – F, H, V, W, Y.
- 5 points – K.
- 8 points – J, X.
- 10 points – Q, Z.
Option: as above but no more than 10 zones and at least 200 Turfabble points.
Task No 9 – Monday 9th December – Turfing Bad
Collect exactly 500 Turfing Bad points by taking zones that contain periodic element symbols in their zone name. The turfing bad points value equals the atomic number of the element. These can be found in Periodic Tables. Letters may be used for more than one element. And if you don’t already know, the idea came from the titles of the TV series Breaking Bad. Note the word exactly.
For example, zone Eskbank would give you: B – Boron for 5, Ba – Barium for 56, Es – Einsteinium for 99, K – Potassium for 19, N – Nitrogen for 7 and S – Sulphur for 16. Total 202 turfing bad points.
Option: as above but collect exactly 1000 Turfing Bad points. No more, no less.
Task No 8 – Sunday 8th December – Compass Turf
Select and take a suitable base zone, then take 4 compass point zones that are at least 200m away from your base zone, as the crow flies. Take order as follows: North, South, East and West. You should pass back though the base zone between taking each compass point zone. You can use the UrbanGeeks map to check the distances between zones.
Option: in addition to the above, take any other 5 zones, i.e. not those used above, that begin with the follow letters: N for North, S for South, E for East and W for West. The final one is R for Rose, the name given to the centre of a compass.
Task No 7 – Saturday 7th December – Turf Lines
Back in the 1920’s Alfred Watkins, in his book The Old Straight Track, put forward the concept of ley lines, straight alignments between various historic structures, prehistoric sites and prominent landmarks. It is believed that ancient societies built some of their structures, for example stone circles, standing stones and the like, along these mystical ley lines.
Your task is to firstly, suspend any modern beliefs, then find the turf equivalent of a ley line, a turf line. It must include at least 5 zones. Your turf line should be a straight as possible.
Option: as above but create your turf line with 10 zones including one attribute zone.
Task No 6 – Friday 6th December – Elemental Turf
Take 5 zones while standing on any 5 of the following elements or materials: Grass, Tarmacadam, Concrete, Gravel, Sand, Earth or Soil, Wood, Plastic, Metal and Natural Stone. Zones can only be used once for each element and one element per zone. Some creative thinking might be useful. Standing refers to both feet in the element or material.
Option: as above but take 10 zones, one for each element or material.
Task No 5 – Thursday 5th December – Turf Points
Take 5 zones where each zone has a different points value. The zones should be taken in decreasing order. Choose from the following: 185p, 170p, 155p, 140p, 125p, 110p, 95p, 80p and 65p.
This might be a difficult task for some turfers, i.e. you may not have the full range of zone points values available, say outside large urban areas. In that case, make up your own challenge, for example, take 5 zones each with the same points value or whatever you choose.
Option: take 5 different zones in increasing order this time.
Task No 4 – Wednesday 4th December – Turf Trumps
Take a zone of your choice. Add the points value of the zone to the total number of characters in the zone name. For example, zone OkayThen has 170 points and 8 characters, which gives you a combined value of 178. Then take further zones where each trumps, or has a higher combined value, than the first zone taken. Take 5 zones in total.
Option: as above but take 10 zones.
Task No 3 – Tuesday 3rd December – Turfography
Take any 5 zones that feature any of the following landforms at or close to the zone: hill, mountain, lake, loch, pond, crag and tail, river, canal, stream, island, glacial erratic, cliff, beach, sand dunes, natural cave, river estuary, knife edge ridge, hanging valley or any other recognised geological or geographical landform.
Landforms can be used more than once if for different zones. Zones may only be used once for one landform type. For example, zone NorthEskWay, you cannot have river, valley, cave and cliffs for the same zone.
Option: as above but take 10 zones.
Task No 2 – Monday 2nd December – Turf a Chance
For this task you simply need to take 5 zones that meet certain criteria. However, you will not know what these criteria will be until you are actually out turfing. Listed below are 10 criteria. Write or print these out into a piece of paper, then cut out each individually and fold it up so that the text is hidden. Place them out of sight, for example, in a pocket or hat. Once you are ready to start remove one and that will be your first take. Go to that zone and repeat. One zone per criteria. Discard criteria once drawn.
- A zone with 3 vowels in the zone name.
- A zone with a value of 185/+1 points.
- A zone with 13-characters in the zone name.
- A zone with any creature in the zone name.
- A zone with any attribute.
- A zone with zone in the zone name.
- A zone with a religious connection.
- A zone with Neutral status.
- A zone with any letter pair in the zone name.
- A zone with the letter J, Q or X.
Option: as above but take a further 5 zones using the remaining 5 unused criteria.
Task No 1 – Sunday 1st December – Top Turf Takes
Your task is to take the Top 5 zones you have previously taken. That’s the zones you have taken the greatest number of times, which hopefully should be local to you. If not local, choose the highest values you can manage.
You will probably need to logon to Warded for this task. Click on Me, then “Map of my unique zones” and zoom in to reveal the values on the coloured zones. You may be quite surprised how high those figures actually are. Zones must be taken strictly in descending order.
Option: as above but take your Top 10 zones.
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