Turf Blog 05-06-24

Turf Zone – NewtonChurch

Some chat on the Turf Scotland about suitable waterproof jackets for Scotland, possibly from visitors competing in Sconanze 2024, gave me an idea. My wife had been reproofing her waterproof jacket with some Nikwax TX Direct wash-in reproofing juice, so I wondered if that would give my lightweight windproof Montane cycling jacket and over trousers a degree of water repellency. So, I duly did the deed, hung them to dry and waited for a rain day. This is obviously something of an experiment and neither garment is in any way waterproof to start with, about a waterproof as a soggy fruit scone. Now, fast forward a few days to today.

Aren’t some turfers just brilliant. I received a message from Scott, a.k.a. turfer MuttsCycles, proprietor of Mutts Cycles Wondrous and Magical Bicycle Repair Emporium in Newtongrange. He had noticed a new zone in Midlothian, at the Melville gate entrance to Dalkeith Country Park. But did he keep that information to himself? No, he did not, he shared it with me, allowing me to get the FTT for zone RexEntry. What a great chap. Thanks, Scott.

Turf Zone – BridgeOfFaith

Now, recall that experiment I mentioned above. Well, with an FTT in the offing and rain looking imminent, I donned my “new” experimental waterproofs and pedalled like a mad thing for the zone. FTT zones don’t hang about for long in Midlothian, not with arch-rival turfer Hodge who keeps a beady eye on such matters. I even kept my GPS off so not to suggest any clues to my intentions and direction. And guess what, no, no sign of Hodge, the shower missed me and I never got to test my jacket and trousers. Oh well, another time. Got the FTT zone though.

There are a few things in Turf that are, well, not quite annoyances, more confusing than anything else. One is when turfers change their turf name. You see a new turfer in the game and think, yes, another TvT for the collection. Yet when you check on Warded, nothing for that name shows. The latest one locally here in Midlothian is the interestingly named NuclearPasta. Wonder if there’s somewhere you can find out this type of thing?

Turf Zone – DalkeithHouse

The other thing about turf names is that you cannot always tell what the gender of the turfer is. Here’s some examples, Tandem, TobyTheDog, HappyHibby and GreasedWeasel. Not that it really matters, I suppose, not in today’s pronoun minefield, or what they identify as, be it male, as female, as a pink lesbian cat or even urinate-0ff-and-mind-your-own-business. Actually, I have the perfect pronoun for turfers, and that is simply, turfer!

And if you think that’s confusing, it’s even worse on a turf related WhatsApp groups when you are discussing turf stuff. When someone posts a message it can be very difficult to know who that person actually is. For example, the identifier might only be a number, it might be persons name, i.e. Billy, but you might only know that person by their turf name so none the wiser. It might also be a non-turf nickname, for example, The Big Yin, or it might be a turf nickname, like TicketyBoo. Can be very confusing to know with who, or is it whom, you are conversing with. Back soon.

Copyright ©2024 Gary Buckham. All rights reserved.

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