Turf Blog 06-03-23

Turf Zone – BattleAbbey

Recent weeks have seen me concentrating more on taking unique zones than anything else during my turfing sessions, mostly venturing across Edinburgh on the Swifty Air kick scooter. But the other day I chanced to look at the Turf League and was most surprised to discover that I was in League 5, Group 8, bearing in mind I’ve not bothered about the League at all in the two years I’ve been turfing. And even more astonishing was that I was top of my League, by a good 23,000 points and the round reset was due in a couple of days. Which means I’d be promoted to League 4 above.

Now, fast forwards a few days and the round had been reset and yes, I’m now in League 4, Group 1, and this begs a few questions. What are we going to do now? What are we going to do now? What are we going to do now? (sorry, could not reset quoting Arch-Goon Spike Milligan from his totally crazy “Q” TV series). So, do I focus my attentions on staying at the top of the group? Should I simply continue hunting down unique zones towards that still distant Unique 2500 medal? What should my League strategy be?

The League actually started as an unofficial third-party extension for Turf and became part of Turf in 2016. Essentially you are competing with the other 9 turfers in your own group. To stay in the group, you want to avoid being in the last two bottom places, otherwise you will be relegated to the group below. To go up to the next level, you need to be in pole position at the round reset. You want that little up arrow beside your turf name. If your position is within the little arrows, you stay there when the round resets.

My initial thoughts might be to simply continue hunting uniques and the League points will take care of themselves. However, hunting down uniques take more time and effort than whizzing around the well-known local patch. And with uniques getting further and further from home, and ChoccyMuffin needing the car for her work, car-days are limited. So, perhaps a combination of the two will do the trick and keep me towards the top of the table. Just need to keep an eye on the competition. To be honest, I’d rather hunt uniques and make wee turf videos than put all my effort into League places. We shall see.

Bang! There’s just been a loud bang from the living room. And the pattern of feathers on the window pane corresponds to a BFP*. We’ve not had one for a while now. Used to get them regularly but found that leaving the blinds down just a few inches makes all this difference. Perhaps this one is a newcomer or just more stupid that the others.

BFP’s are a pain in the butt. We’ve tried putting food out for the birds but the BFP’s always spoil things, crapping everywhere. They even drink and bathe in the bird bath, then they crap in the bird bath. Gets to the point where you cannot take a step without standing on BFP crap. Very annoying. Hmm, BFP pie is very, very, tasty. Where’s my Smith & Wesson Model 29 .”Dirty Garry” .357 Magnum, the most powerful anti-BFP handgun in the world?  Back soon.

*BFP = Big Fat Pigeon.

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