Turf Zone – KirkCockpen
Thursday the 25th of January, otherwise known as Burn’s Night and where not a few Scots have the excuse to make merry, recite the fine words of Robbie Burns very badly, drink too much of the water-of-life, and not forgetting the piping in of the fabled haggis along with the reciting of the poem “Address to a Haggis” by the host or a guest. Personally, the last time I ate haggis I was as sick as Robbie Burns Border collie dog Luath, I don’t drink alcohol, never mind drinking whisky, and the thought of having to recite a poem in public, well, you know.
Anyway, Burn’s Night is a good excuse for a special turfing session, so I posted a wee challenge, as follow:
Take 5 zones where you might encounter any species of the Scottish wild haggis, Haggis scoticus.
The wild haggis is rarely seen, being mostly nocturnal, but can found in many different habitats in early mornings or late evenings when it emerges from the burrow to feed. The Lowland haggis favours urban parks, woodland and gardens whereas the Upland haggis is more likely to be found in hill country, such as Holyrood Park in Edinburgh. Sign, such as burrows (similar to those of the rabbit), droppings (similar to seedless grape size and shape) and tunnels through dense vegetation, are useful pointers for haggis activity. The wild haggis is active all year round and contrary to popular belief, do not hibernate. The alarm call of the wild haggis is similar to the Scottish bagpipe and it is said that bagpipes were developed as a way of enchanting wild haggis into traps. The wild haggis has a keen sense of smell and fresh scones may be used to tempt them from their burrows. They can be dangerous and should not be approached too closely.
Bonus option, as above and recite the Turf Grace:
Some hae turf an canna turf,
And some wad turf that want tae;
But we nae greet, as we can turf,
And sae the Turf Lord be thankit.
Selfie videos reciting the above are most welcome.
My haggis hunting ground was my local patch of Bonnyrigg, on the Swifty Air kick scooter, as this will confuse any possible haggis and either help stop them running away as they look on in wonder, or attacking me should I be riding my bicycle. Haggis are keen mimics and tend to copy the behaviour of domestic dogs, for example, as in chasing cyclists, particularly those out turfing ,and also runners who are pastry chefs.
My first encounter with haggis sign was at zone Pittendriech, right next to the house and on the Pittendreich Burn. While taking the zone I heard a faint plop, akin to an animal entering the water. My initial thought was a water vole but I’ve not seen them in all the 20 or so years I lived here. So, I decided to check the ground and noticed some tracks in the sand. A quick flick through my aging Observers Book of Haggis Track and Sign (first edition I might add and as rare a haggis teeth) suggested this was the tracks of a Lowland water haggis. Good, first tick of the evening.
My second encounter was at zone KirkCockpen, where I had a glimpse of the rare ghost-devil haggis, albeit very fleeting as it ran between the gravestones, I think chasing a rabbit for a bit of you-know-what. The haggis is very short sighted and I suspect the haggis was mistaking the rabbit for a female ghost-devil haggis. Would have liked to grab a photo but it all happened far too quickly and it would probably have been NSFW anyway. A good sighting. Not just sign of a haggis but a haggis itself. Even better.
For my next zone, I considered heading across to zone SouthEskAside, located by the River South Esk, where turfer and pastry chef CardiffSoulCru had shared a photograph on the Turf Scotland WhatsApp group of a dead sheep in the adjacent field, said sheep showing clear sign of predation by wild haggis. However, I was unarmed and not wearing my armoured haggis hunting gear, so was too frightened to venture there alone at night. Which is a shame, it would have given me another tick for my haggis sign searching quest.
So, back to Bonnyrigg for the haggis hunt. It was another ten zones before I found anything haggis related, this time in the way of droppings. After taking zone Skeltiemuir, I was swerving to avoid some droppings on the cycle path, initially assuming some idiot had allowed their dog to crap on the cycle path. However, something was nagging at me, so I about turned to take a closer look. Chapter five in my Observers Book of Haggis Track and Sign is entirely dedicated to haggis droppings and these looked suspiciously like those of the Scandinavian short-haired haggis, a species known to migrate to the UK in winter. A good find and tick No. 3 for the evening.
Zone GeorgeWarMem offered up some good haggis sign in the way of a burrow under the monument. Not sure what species of haggis as all haggis burrows are pretty much identical. And it was too dark to find any snagged hair samples around the burrow which might help with identification. However, the tooth marks in the petals of the pansies in the flower beds do again suggest the Scandinavian short-haired haggis. Four down, just one to go.
But I’m sad to say that was all for the evening, no more sighting of haggis, or sign that they are in the area. There was some excitement in King George V park where some idiot youths had set fire to something in the skate park. A 999 call to the emergency services and a fire engine arrived within a few minutes. Only one final task remaining and that was to recite the Turf Grace and make a wee video.
Some hae turf an canna turf,
And some wad turf that want tae;
But we nae greet, as we can turf,
And sae the Turf Lord be thankit.
However, I tried a few times but could not remember the words and could not see any way of keeping the words on the phone screen while recording video at the same time. So, I had to wait until back home where I wrote them down on a scrap of paper and made an attempt, and not a particularly good one at that. Pleased to see I wasn’t the only daft turfer out on Burns Night as turfer Nora Casey (not sure of her turf name) also posted a recital. Good for her. Back soon.
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